My eyes meet the horizon and I boldy look into its great expanse as I step out of my sandals and into the gritty, textured sand. My feet initially absorb the shock of my body hitting the tiny particles. The particles which no person on earth can possibly count. The particles which only the Creator of the universe knows the number, weight, and individual look of. The heels of my feet hurt sharply even in my dreams as they absorb the pain, but there is no way it will stop me from savoring this moment. As my eyes flash between the mini sandhills in front of me and the edge of the water, I get a rush of endorphins that has been long yearned for and dreamed of. It floods my brain, intoxicating & rose colored. I look up to make sure the horizon is still there, remembering it like an old friend. Knowing we can pick up right where we left off, without missing a step. We don’t need coaching or any words.
As I get closer to the shore, I scatter my t-shirt, pants, and throwing my sandals, glasses, & hat into a pile on my roundie towel. I curiously, slowly and mindfully walk to edge where the sand has been touched by the foam from the roar of the ocean. Its sand is darker and more beautiful than that of the lighter, and you can see circles of pressure erupt under my heel as each hits the ground. I pause so my toes can dig in and enjoy the coolness of the wet sand. As the next wave comes roaring in, my toes instinctively jump back toward the drier land, the one it feels firm on. The ocean doesn’t stopped and pushes in different half moon direction as it flirts with my feet. The feeling of the cold water hitting the middle of the sole of my foot takes my breath away in a sharp way but a very fun one. The kind where you want to squeal and shriek but love it all the same.
I loved to run until the water was up to my kneecaps, then spin on my heel and catch the wave crashing onto my back. Then spin back and quickly wade deeper into the abyss. Loved dunking my head in and catching a wave as I came up for air and a mermaid hair flip. Even though it was scary, it was sweetly scary. Safe scary. Protected scary.
Before sickness crept in, the beach was my happy place. I sat, cried, swam, laughed…a lifetime ago. Sat on lifeguard stands and dreamily looked into the sunset with lovers. Spent a lot of time there alone in later years. Felt a deep connection to my Creator there long before I realized it or fell in love with Him. Felt a sense of comfort when the cold rush of heartbreak crept in. Felt relief when stepping foot into His holy waters.
written on 9.13.17 but is just as true today…